A fitting post for Valentine’s Day I feel. My apologies to all those who wish this to be ‘just another day’ with no mention of the ‘V’ word!
I give you, the poem ‘I’m just a dog breeder’s husband’. I hope you all enjoy it.
I’m just a dog breeder’s husband,
I no longer rule my domain.
Even if kindly invited,
from opinions I wisely refrain.
I’m just a glorified kennel boy
of minor importance I know.
It seems my primary function
is merely providing the dough.
Now dog breeding is not inexpensive,
as you all no doubt are aware –
but the problem’s not so much the money
as the bustle, the wear and the tear.
Having studied the layback of shoulder
and becoming an expert on feet,
I still have not learned to give worm pills
or how much the puppy should eat.
My spouse will spend hours grooming
her Bred By Exhibitor bitch.
But when it comes to scratching my back,
her thought is to let the thing itch.
Some day I hope that my wife’ll
take me wandering to some foreign vale,
instead of inspecting the stifle
of some Special stud at Hinsdale.
Off in a crowded hotel room
after the dog show is o’er,
someone questions the judges decision
while they reach for another drink more
It appears that his eyesight is failing,
his errors in judgment immense.
In fact if I did not know better
you’d doubt if he had any sense.
One finds that the amateur’s bungling
is no match for professional skills.
A handler can hide what the owner admits
as he tries hard his conscience to still.
The din and the utter confusion
of everyone talking at once
leaves one weary, hoarse and irascible
and the next day a bleary eyed dunce
Sometimes late in the evening,
I’m asked if I do not agree
that Pottowattamies Bridget
Is somewhat out at the knee.
But before I can answer the question
I find my answer ignored –
for some inexplicable reason
my questioner’s suddenly bored.
I’m only a dog breeders husband,
not that I mean to complain –
but I find certain aspects amazing
when I aspire my role to explain.
I know at least where I’m going –
I’m rapidly going to seed.
But I’ve learned about Winner’s Bitches
I married the Best of the Breed
Author Unknown